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♥Gladys.15thFeb
♥18.NP,Information Technology
♥Dream-chaser
♥Into Korean
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Date: Friday, August 22, 2008 Time: 1:33 AM
I have a grandmother, not my real one but because she took care of me while I was young she gave me a very sweet childhood i called her ah ma. because I loved her i called him her husband ah gong, because I loved him I din have a grandfather to dote on me since young cause both passed away when I was born so to me, they were like my grandparents.. they had three children. zhuzhu jie, wenqiang kor and zoe jie that was how I addressed them and to me, they were important in my childhood memories they played with me, they dote on me as if I were their kid because I was young then they saw me through my ugliest moment when I fell as I walked when I held the microphone in my hand and tried to sing all these they were with me after I grew up things changed but still I visited them because they were on my mind not constantly I admit, but they occupied that part of my heart some years back, ah gong passed away I cried as I held the phone in my hand as I heard about the news I remembered how he held the walking stick how he slowly lose his memory because of a disease how he eventually became bedridden so thin beyond recognition that I really felt he would break as I held him I cried each time because I saw him in that state and I couldnt do anything eventually he left me... today I went to visit ah ma, she was old, her hair was white she had an operation for her knee it was all part of growing old I understood that but what made me so devastated was the fact that she did not want to share with me what happened to her even though I know she was weak why? had I lost her trust? and there she was holding the very same walking stick that ah gong held before he left... and she told me "yingying, ah ma have to hold the walking stick now" I almost cried. because I was afraid that I would lose her eventually the same way I lost ah gong... I dont want to.. to lose her... then I found out some really bad matters about what was going on in this family I did not know.. I really did not I just merely overheard what zoe jie said to her friend and I knew what was happening what happened to the people I knew in my childhood? pride,money and fame got the better of them? i knew I shouldnt have interfered. because I was indeed just an outsider to the family but in my heart, they were my family as well my childhood family why had the people changed so much from what I knew them to be? I saw ah gong phto in zoe jie room. and ah gong seemed to be telling me something. I am not sure what but as I see ah ma getting more frail by the days I am afraid because I have seen too many of these eternal partings that I dont want to experience them anymore at least not from the people around me live strong ah ma. there are many things I haven't done for you to repay you for giving me such a sweet childhood in people's eyes, you are nothing more than a nanny but to me, you are just like my grandmother whom I love I really don't wish for you to become like ah gong.. his departure was enough for me to take dont leave me, cause there will be no one to dote for me as you would. has money and influence got so much power over a person? I have no idea. but please. I love you all. stop all these bad blood and fighting and hatred. I dont wish for things to be on the worst side I have ever imagined wenqiang kor, be like how you were when I was young wont you? piggyback me like how any father would. zhuzhu jie would love to touch me on my head and call my name dearly zoe jie would love to play with me when I was bored ah gong would buy me my favourite food ah ma would teach me all the things I needed to learn hw to hold the chopsticks properly hw to write properly and comfort me when I threw a lousy tantrum. all these memories you all have given, I wont forget for life. ever. for the beautiful childhood memories. thank you all. I love ah gong I love ah ma I love zhuzhu jie I love wenqiang kor I love zoe jie I love you all sincerely from the bottom of my heart. it was just my childhood I chose if there was anything I could do to turn back time if there was anything I could do to restore the good relationship I would do it. trust me, for you all I would. no strings attached because of love |