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♥Gladys.15thFeb
♥18.NP,Information Technology
♥Dream-chaser
♥Into Korean
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Date: Sunday, March 30, 2008 Time: 1:38 AM
why is the monday blue kinda feeling coming into me though it is a saturday night? today i hesistated before the alter call, and i chose to respond. each time i hesitated, i just felt something tugging at the deep corner of my heart. and i dunno what is the thing that made me hesitated today. i just felt way out of place today after service. being God's child ain't easy after all, there will be trials, but of course there will be blessings. i really wonder what i should do. perhaps Satan keep bringing back into memories all the dark past i've had. and i got trapped in that vicious cycle once and again. perhaps it was my fault someone i cared for backslided, perhaps it was my fault that i cared too much bout someone, perhaps it was my fault that i couldn't let go of past memories, perhaps everything that occured was my fault. why am i getting all emo-ed up? maybe some cycling will help in my venting of frustration that i'm feeling inside of me right now but tmr's outing to ecp is cancelled because only some people can make it tmr. just making things worse of worse. going ecp will make me emo make i guess, cos every time i go to the beach, it's not for nice picnics, but to sit by the seas quietly by myself and allow memories to gush right back up to me. i don't mind if the weather's bad, rather i could sit in the rain, so that no one can see. could i just beg someone to go cycling with me, so that my thoughts won't start to run wild again? i thot didi will be the best person, but everyone's giving me that "i'm busy,pls don't bother me" kinda feeling. so there's no one to entertain me now. i'll get better after a good night sleep perhaps. i'm too tired out today. yes i am. i knew i won't be able to get over so quickly |